The lost art of conversation in the smartphone age

The world is interesting. I'll talk and write about a book I read, a film I saw, something in the news and media or what's happening in the community. But I can go on, forgetting my interests are not necessarily shared by others. In that case they might find me verbose and a bore.

One time I expounded about economic development to an intern and master’s graduate in economics, a subject I had expertise in having a post-graduate degree in economics myself. After a few minutes I saw the panic in her eyes as she tried to extricate herself from my one-on-one informal lecture. But, as often happens, I couldn’t stop or didn’t know how to stop without looking like a fool.

Other times my audience, usually of one, might change the subject, show signs of restlessness or moving off or I get the point and stop, the words petering off . Don’t get the wrong idea, this doesn’t happen all the time but often enough.

For articles it’s a simple matter for the reader to stop reading or skim the article if he finds it boring. I do it all the time. Of course, people more easily engage with that they find interesting and confirms their biases. If they're close-minded, anything else is met with derision and/or indifference.

There’s little genuine effort to engage with the subject and argument. Banal and ignorant comments replace critical discussion. Perhaps what I don’t understand, though, is it’s not necessary to have a philosophical debate about trivial matters. In mitigation, that’s the person I am. To me it’s making conversation.

Perhaps I’ve undiagnosed Aspergers because I can’t seem to see the boundaries other people get. But we’re all different, loner or extrovert; quiet or noisy.

These days the art of conversation and debate is lost. Columnists, so-called analysts and politicians preach to the public their version of the truth and agendas. And people post banal or offensive comments on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and media sites in 200 characters. Anything longer and attempts to debate is deemed verbose, irrelevant and objectionable.

Last month I took my book when I went to the traffic department for my drivers’ licence. Around me peoples’ noses were buried in their phones, swiping and clicking away. An elderly woman passed by and said, “You’re the only one with a book. Everyone else is looking at their phones. I brought my book too.”

Perhaps it’s pointless trying to compete with the smartphone culture. It’s not the truth unless it comes from a smartphone screen.